The Midnight News 8.03.01
Posted By Hyatte on 08.03.01
Juvee, Landel, Heat, Wrestling Porn, Scherer, Ryder, A New Writer, Words From A Moron, and Honky Gives Props!
"Look, I remember back in the day when people read your mop-ups of Raw. I did, I think in 97 or so. But you thought you were such a star you wouldn't even give people's real names. I remember not knowing what happened on nights when I hadn't watched. You were entitled to your opinion, just like I am. Don't be a hypocrite. That is, unless, you just think your opinion is more valuable than mine, which is the definition of pompous, which you called me. You criticize me for negativity, yet I read your columns of the last 2 days and basically everything you say is negative. You say you report the news. No, you don't. You repeat what the reporters say and then throw in your take. How's that any different than what I did? You call me an a**hole, yet you're the one attacking people you don't know. You're an immature, angry, hypocritical a**hole, and none of those words are just there for filler. Oh, and Vassar isn't Ivy League, and don't assume anything about people you don't know at all.
I agree to all three adjectives and the noun.
The difference between what I do and what this guy did is that people specifically COME for my "take".... he SENT his "take" to Meltzer, who had no choice but to post it because they were the only spoilers he had.
Anyone else wondering why this is bothering him so much?
Note... he didn't deny that Daddy was paying for his college education.
I'm Chris, and I'm STILL under the delusion that I am a star!!
It's Friday.... so that means hardly anyone will read this... there isn't much news out there... only three minor stories that grabbed me, really. But I got some intriguing letters and some "leads" from readers so we got us some stuff for you to enjoy. It'll all be nice and NEGATIVE... oooh yeah.
FINALLY, THE JEWS HAS COME BACK... NO IT HASN'T
There will be no "Juvee Juice" loaded up in the WWF Vending Machines.
RF Video said that Juventud Guerrera is not being considered for a WWF deal. They won't even give him an interview or a try-out dark match.
I still say he was saying "Jews" and not "Juice".
OH BUDDY.... WE HARDLY KNEW YEE
Buddy Landel, who did serious time in just about every territory and the WWF, yet never really became a major star, recently announced that he will retire on August 11th. His final match will be in Birmingham, Alabama.
Landel has found God and will focus his energies in a Ministry.
Can't say I'll miss him, but I always enjoyed Landel's twist on the Elbow drop.... I liked how he whirled around mid-air before landing. I've always wondered why no one else tried this very easy, very safe maneuver.
RF Video popped this bad boy too.
MY GOD, A REASON TO WATCH HEAT!!
I don't know if Scherer said it, and everyone is just repeating or what, but rumor has it that the Rob Van Dam Vs Jerry Lynn match that will be on WWF Sunday Night Heat is a "must see".... Lynn's been in the WWF doghouse lately and it seems Van Dam is trying to help him out of it by working a tremendous match with him.
Unless they edit the crap out of it, it should be a barnburner.
A FOOL IS ILLEGAL LOVE?
"Hyatte, I just scanned the most recent statement of the King. Did I read correctly that they shared the same bed for 12 years? My calculator just confirmed for me that something there just ain't right."
One of many e-mails on the subject.... (actually, my Attorney friend)
Hmm.... if Lawler met her when she was 19.... 19 + 12 =.... umm... carry the 1...break out the calculator.... hrrmmm.... 31?
The Kat is 31? No way in Hell.
Let's say she is 27, (and I am being VERY generous).... 27 - 12 =... 15
15?????
Let's just hope the Honky Tonk Man sets this straight!
SCHERER GOES OFF
One thing that you can DEPEND on from Bob Ryder and Dave Scherer... both men WILL flame you if you mail them a nasty letter.
I post the following NOT to goof on Scherer, but because he actually slipped and broke a story about 1wrestling.
"Hyatte: Thought you might get a kick out of this, its a feedback I left at 1wrestling.com .. and Dave Scherer's reply: --
'Thank god I got a popup killer. Now I can peruse your site without 4 popups per click and without paying you the ridiculous subscription fees. I mean was it not enough with 3 ads in the left side, 3 above and 3 below? Wasn't that enough??? Money grubbing scum that needs to resort to those tactics should be kicked off the net. I for one hope your site goes bankrupt ...no offense meant Dave, cause you aren't the bad guy here, I come here to read your articles. Ryder is the one who sucks. And the whole Internet wrestling community knows it. Useless useless useless.'"
Okay... a little rough, but Dave has seen worse... so have I. Yes, we do answer back in a less than peppy mood.
"Now, Dave's response, where apparently he decides he is ruler of the Universe:
"Enjoy it while you can. The free site will be closing soon and when it does, it will make us feel goo to know that scumbags like you can't read it anymore. When you move out of your parents basement and get a job, you will finally see why people need to be paid for their work. Luckily, no one will heckle you when you change the Slurpee bag.'
-- I guess if you don't want to pay for the 1wrestling 'service', you are eternally a 16 year that works at 7-11 and a scumbag."
Rayzor (address withheld by request)
Well.... it's tough to be at a site where your partner is THE most hated wrestling guy on the web. So Dave's response, while a bit rough, is forgivable.
BUT.... the Free part of 1wrestling is shutting down? You'll have to pay to read everything?
Didn't they already try that once?
While we're in the motif.... how about a little...
SIX DEGREES OF RYDER FAKIN
Not sure if you noticed
Kurt Angle cut, what is basically, his first 100% babyface promo. His conclusion was the recitation of something that every child learns in school: The "Pledge of Allegiance". The audience, for the most part, stood in unison out of respect for their country.
The last line of the "Pledge of Allegiance" is "and justice for all" ...And Justice for All is also the name of one of the best and most influential albums of the last 20 years, an album performed by the band Metallica.
Metallica has recently been involved in a fight against on-line free music source Napster in an effort to shut down the site due to "copyright infringement". The spokesperson for the band has been their drummer, Lars Ulrich.
Lars Ulrich has been parodied on the Internet advertising company "UGO.com" for his protest against Napster.
If you do not pay a subscription fee, UGO.com is the most prominent banner at 1wrestling.com
1wrestling.com is, of course, owned by BOB
Six Degrees of Ryder Fakin
The kid's unstoppable
BUT, PLUGS
411's Smackdown Report is 411's recap of the weekly event, handled sublimely by the very capable Sean McCluskey! (Why the F**K am I doing a Scaia impression?).
And... because none of us could wait until Monday... I am happy to introduce a NEW 411 writer... He wrote for Wrestleline, he wrote for and edited WOW, he wrote for and edited the legendary Bagpipe Report, he wrote for Meltzer's site, he has his own radio show, the Harts used him for their press agent...
Blake Norton is now a contributor for 411! Each week (hopefully, but everyone here is allowed a week or two off... except Widro), Norton Notes will be a part of the great 411 lineup. This week, Blake kicks things off by introducing us to the Matrats... we all heard of this Bischoff/Jason Hervey endeavor... we all know the basic premise behind it... but Norton FINALLY takes us inside the promotion and describes what the deal is here. Treat yourself to some knowledge and Read It.
As my friend Robert Berry said, "Blake Norton is the perfect wrestling straight man!"
Norton... AAT, Nason, McNeil, Gamble... we have ourselves a JAMMING line-up of writers!
Oh, and concerning yesterday's report... Ron Gamble officially welcomed me to 411... thank you Ron... now never bother the Great Hyatte again.
SPEAK TO US.... WARRRIOR
It's been a while, so I thought we'd enjoy some words and wisdom from everyone's favorite idiot....The Ultimate Warrior
I don't know what "Generation Warrior" was supposed to be... but maybe through HIS description, we can figure out why it never took off.
What exactly is Generation Warrior? Generation Warrior is the next address on the tip of the tongue of each and every human being on this planet; most not yet consciously aware of it. The last few years, as I've taken on other interests, I've noticed (and you will too as I show you the evidence) that the consciousness of man's public attitude has shifted - soon to be - undeniably evident in a secular way.
The life I have lived, when in retrospect and clear foke, dictates very clearly what my destiny is...what responsibilities I must meet in clarifying this universal influence - which is upon the human race.
Everywhere you turn today, people are writing and expressing, on and in - all kinds of forums and media, about returning, ideologically, to the strength and power of individualism. Any discussion of individualism captivates an idea of supreme individualism. One of a kind pre-eminent individuals are known - have long been regarded - as warriors, certainly, no less than acting warrior-like.
Definitive changes are, right now, taking place.
Generation Warrior will reflect and substantiate these changes taking place - directly and profoundly - related to people striving to be - becoming their own warrior. A world full of supreme individuals proffering "ultimate individualism". Each existing according to his own cognitively-developed ability, and self-attained level of greatness. No one sacrificing their lives for others, and no one sacrificing the life of another unto themselves. ("Defining Warrior" link explains this in explicit detail.)
Generation Warrior is the mind - the intellect - recognizing this and educating others about it.
Generation Warrior is about embracing the challenge of individualism - the rationally sustained living of one's own life. A"warrior" in it's literal definition means..."One engaged or experienced in struggle; in battle". Battle in it's literal definition means...[1.] An encounter between opposing forces. [2 a.] A protracted struggle. [b.] An intense competition. Tell me how you [don't] see life written all over that. An individual principled in a warrior's morality, rises to meet the challenge in a more competent and effective manner. He insures his success by doing so. Nobody hands you anything. In today's tell-all society it's easy to find feigned, as if, "no dues were paid" success stories. However, believe me when I tell you, the well-publicized, media promulgated overnight successes are never truly overnight. Falling for sensationalism is only going to keep you from living life.
Always remember - Your life is what you make of it.
Think about it for a second, are you going to allow your successes to be limited by that which you have control over (your mind) or by things which you do not control (the opinions, judgments and slights of others).
Life doesn't have to be any way except your way. Irrationally, hence regrettably, anytime there's a suggestion of doing things "my way" there's always going to be a faction of irrational people who automatically believe this proposes "in any way". Wrong.
Generation Warrior isn't about pillaging others. It's not about justifying thievery, nor belligerence. It's not about asking others to sacrifice their highest value, their life as a human being, in any way. It's about one's own hard work, sacrifice, persistence...it's about acting to do whatever it takes of yourself to get the job done, kicking your own ass. It's about upholding your own life as the greatest value and your consistent, incremental productivity - one's purpose - as the action which conquers any adversity which will certainly come before you in this challenge called life.
Just as each of us will have our own crosses to bear; each of us has the capability. I assure you, on the day you were born, your chances were just as great as Thomas Edison's or Michael Jordan's or Bill Gates's or Hulk Hogan's or Ted Turner's or and or and or - all of these men - warriors, mind you -...the list is infinite, and your name is upon it - All you have to do is have the courage to step in line.
My destiny is the mission of Project Warrior, of which, Generation Warrior is it's mind. It's educator.
Yes.... YES!!! MESSAGE!!!! PREACH!!!!
Err... y'know... maybe it would have taken off if he allowed a LITTLE "pillaging"
It's clear... this guy fancied himself a cult leader.
Okay, I WAS going to give him a long weekend.... but I just couldn't...
TAKE US HOME, HONKY
It's a proud day for the kid here.... it's a proud day for all of us...
Wayne Ferris: The Honky Tonk Man dropped THIS little bomb yesterday....
This (411 wrestling) site has a section on the newsboard called "The Midnight News" that is the greatest. I am truly entertained by the insights of the witers. They tell it like it is as we do here and for that I reccomend you check it out. And if you want the good interviews, go to wrestlingresources.com. But, for all of you who want whining Bullsh** and a lot of nonsense, go somewhere else, stay away, you can't handle it.
See, he found the Newsboard and surfed around... I'm sure he knows that the MidNews is written by just one guy, and the Newsboard has LOTS of different writers.
Well.... actually... it's mostly just Widro on the newsboard... Me and Widro... we rock Honky's WORLD!!
What a great way to cap off the week. I'm on my weekend sojourn. F-YOU, DICKWEEDS!!! I AM OUTTAHERE!!!!
This is Hyatte